<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>It’s a beautiful day for a beautiful battle by eleventhousands</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637305">It’s a beautiful day for a beautiful battle</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleventhousands/pseuds/eleventhousands'>eleventhousands</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Abyss Surrounds Us Series - Emily Skrutskie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(What more could you want?), Alcohol, Battle, Drinking, F/F, Lesbian Pirates, Lesbians, Monsters, Partying, Pirates, Sea Battle, Sea Monsters, Swift POV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleventhousands/pseuds/eleventhousands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“This is navigation. We’ve picked up a bucket on our instruments three leagues to the North. Unescorted. The captain says we’re hitting it. Prepare accordingly.” (page 95, TASU) </p><p>Or, Swift's POV of what happens when the Minnow goes into battle to raid a ship and Swift locks Cas in the trainer deck.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Swift Kent/Cassandra Leung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I finished these books in two days and I can't stop thinking about these characters and this couple, so I wrote some fanfic! I have no idea if anyone will even read this because the books came out so long ago? But thanks if you're here!</p><p>This covers the end of Chapter 13 and some of Chapter 14 of TASU, re-reading that bit may help you familiarise yourself with what's going on before reading this :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The familiar sound of the all-call fills the trainer deck.</p><p> </p><p>“This is navigation. We’ve picked up a bucket on our instruments three leagues to the North. Unescorted. The captain says we’re hitting it. Prepare accordingly.”</p><p> </p><p>That announcement is a call to action, and I need to respond immediately. I snap out of my daze, scramble to my feet and quickly head for the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Bao can’t keep up.” Cas says. She’s still sitting on the floor, right where we shared our laughter a few minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t listen to what she’s actually saying. I’m too busy focusing on getting to where the Boss needs me to be. And I’m definitely not useful to Santa Elena down here on the trainer deck.</p><p> </p><p>I slow my pace for a second when I realise one thing I need to do before I can be at the Captain’s side – I need to make sure Cas somewhere safe and locked out of the way while we go into battle. There’s a chance she could escape onto the enemy’s ship, but more importantly, the Boss will literally kill me if Cas, her prized reckoner trainer, gets injured or killed in the crossfire.</p><p> </p><p>The janitorial closet upstairs is perfect for the job, but it seems all too cruel now that Cas is more important to me than the last time I had to lock her away. I don’t feel like I can treat her as a prisoner anymore. We’re certainly not equals, not by a long shot, but she’s certainly no longer my captive.</p><p> </p><p>My bunk? It has a locked door so there’s no way she could escape. </p><p> </p><p>But I quickly realise there’s no way I would get her there fast enough. It’s a journey that takes less than five minutes, I can do it in three, but Cas would be bound to put up a fight if I dragged her there, which would be no easy task. I need to concentrate on getting to the Captain’s side, not wasting time on dragging a flailing Cas around the ship’s hallways.</p><p> </p><p>I feel myself smile when I come up with a much simpler plan for Cas.</p><p> </p><p>As I pull open the exit hatch with my left hand, my right instinctively shifts to rest on my holder sitting on my hip, just in case she tries anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Swift, wait– Bao can’t keep up.” Cas’s voice speaks up again from behind me. She sounds pretty desperate now, pleading with me to do something, but I haven’t got time to listen to her.</p><p> </p><p>I focus instead on getting out of here as fast as I can and leaving Cas safely locked inside. Once I’m through the hatch, I turn around quickly and catch a glimpse of Cas lunging after me. But before she gets anywhere near me, I close the hatch with a slam before locking it tight shut with the key that hangs around my neck.</p><p> </p><p>A hear another slam, I assume that’s her punching the other side of the hatch in frustration. I try not to grimace. Locking her in the trainer deck seems wrong after the laughter we just shared, but it’s the only way I can be sure she would be safe and won’t bother anyone while us pirates have work to do. I don’t want to get her into any trouble and I don’t want her to cause herself trouble.</p><p> </p><p>And I’m also not wanting her to cause <em>me</em> trouble. Getting in the Captain’s bad books is not what I need right now, and Cas’s actions are tied to me, the Boss made that very clear, so if Cas does anything stupid, I’ll be the one to blame.</p><p> </p><p>Locking her on the trainer deck is the only way to make sure she won’t do anything stupid.</p><p> </p><p>She’ll be fine. I say to myself as I jog away from the door, from her, from Cas. The stupid shoregirl who has recently begun to consume all of my waking thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>I am scrambling up the first ladder to my destination when the engines of the ship several feet below me roar into life, causing everything to vibrate intensely. The noise of the ship’s engines always gets me in the mood for a party, and that’s what this battle will be.</p><p> </p><p>I rush towards the upper decks where I know Boss will be ready with orders, whether that’s manning Phobos and Deimos on the top deck or armed with a Splinter. As I head down a gangway of crew quarters, I realise I am hoping for the latter, I fancy getting out on the open water today.</p><p> </p><p>I climb up another ladder to the next deck up and am suddenly thrust into a world of activity. The lower decks were empty and silent, nothing except me and the thrum of the engines, but up here, numerous bodies move about in preparation for the fight.</p><p> </p><p>Cannons and all sorts of ammunition are carried about, battle stations are manned, and strategies are discussed with rushed voices. An unescorted ship means that they will have plenty of deadly weapons, and we must be prepared to respond.</p><p> </p><p>I hear shouting and swearing as I slip between bodies and weave my way through the frenzied activities.</p><p> </p><p>“Engines report ready. Brace for ignition in three.”</p><p> </p><p>I quickly find a holdall to grab onto. That announcement from command means we’re about to lurch forward, and I want to hold onto something because the <em>Minnow</em> won’t hang about.</p><p> </p><p>“Two.”</p><p> </p><p>I smile as I watch my knuckles turn white as I grip the handrail tightly. There’s no need to hold on so tight, I won't go very far if I wasn't, but I love doing this, waiting for the ship to set sail, waiting for the moment when the adrenaline will really kick in and the chase for the bucket is finally on.</p><p> </p><p>“One.”</p><p> </p><p>As expected, we surge forward fast. The ship groans loudly as it quickly gains speed and I use the momentum to resume my journey to my destination.</p><p> </p><p>Climbing floors is a little bit harder when the <em>Minnow</em> is moving at such a pace, but it doesn’t take me more than another minute to reach the command room.</p><p> </p><p>Like the decks, the room is bustling with people and Captain is right in the middle of the action. I know better than to head to the Boss straight away – if and when she wants to give me my orders, she’ll call me over, I don’t go to her.</p><p> </p><p>At the moment, she’s discussing something with a small group of guys, some of who I recognise from gun training. It seems Boss is telling them exactly how much ammunition we’re sparing for this fight. Our reserves aren’t bottomless but if we win the fight against this ship, we can top ourselves up, and so Captain has to be measured about how much she’s willing to sacrifice to gain more.</p><p> </p><p>Boss noticed me when I walked into the room, and I figure if I was to be manning a gun too, she’d have beckoned me over to hear what she was saying, so I guess I’ll see Phobos and Deimos another time.</p><p> </p><p>Instead of walking up to her, I join Varma, the only other trainee in the room, who is standing off to the side as he awaits orders. I acknowledge him with a nod, and he nods backs, smiling like usual, his minnow tattoo crinkling on the skin.</p><p> </p><p>That guy is always smiling, but right now, there’s something more to the way Varma is grinning back at me. Something tells me he knows exactly what order I’ll be given, and I imagine it involves him too.</p><p> </p><p>A few moments later, Captain’s conversation about guns and ammunition is over. The guys jog away, ready to pass on the Boss’s commands, and she turns towards me and Varma.</p><p> </p><p>She gives me the words I wanted to hear as soon as we're in earshot, “Swift, you’re on Splinter Two.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s my lucky day. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.</p><p> </p><p>She then points at Varma but keeps her gaze on me, “Varma’s on Splinter One, so he calls the orders, got it?”</p><p> </p><p>I tone down my smile and nod curtly, “Yes boss.”</p><p> </p><p>"Good."</p><p> </p><p>She has nothing more to say and instead nods at both of us, indicating we are free to leave and obey her orders.</p><p> </p><p>Not wasting another second, we turn on our heels and rush out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“All Splinter pilots to stations.” The all-call repeats the Captain’s command.</p><p> </p><p>That gets me wondering about who else is on Splinters today. I glance back at Varma following behind me as I lead the way but ask him a different question that’s lingering in my mind.</p><p> </p><p>“How come you knew you were gonna be in charge?” I ask as I jump through a hatch. Leading the Splinters into battle is no easy task and I can’t help but feel a little jealous of the job he’s been given. I would love that responsibility.</p><p> </p><p>Varma chuckles lightly and flashes me a knowing smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Captain hinted at it a few days ago.”</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t expand on that answer, but the implications are clear – he’s obviously in Boss’s good books at the moment. I try not to dwell on that fact. Varma is my competitor as much as anything else, and I want to know what exactly she hinted at and how much she prepared him for today’s battle.</p><p> </p><p>I’ll question Varma about it more later, for now, I need to remain focused with the task at hand and so I turn back around and pick up the pace.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t take us long to reach the Splinter deck and head outside. We’re met with the roaring sound of the ship whipping through the waves and a strong wind to match. The sun shines brightly into my eyes and I squint as we approach the Splinters.</p><p> </p><p>I quickly take note of the conditions, vital when you are about to man a craft on open water. The sun sits low in the sky as it slowly makes its way to the horizon, that’s why it’s in my eyes and there’s a strong breeze coming from the south but it’s warm, the wind soothing on the skin rather than abrasive.</p><p> </p><p>There’s nothing out of the ordinary that will affect the performance of the Splinters. In fact, it’s a beautiful day for a beautiful battle.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t have long to admire the view. A helmet is ungraciously pushed into my hands and I don’t try to hide my smile as I quickly attach it to my head and then climb into Splinter Two, my best of a machine for this afternoon’s battle.</p><p> </p><p>I love the Splinters. They’re quick, agile, do their job well, and above all, are fun to ride. I will never tire of the thrill being in control of one gives me.</p><p> </p><p>I’m pulling the safety straps over my shoulders when Varma’s voice flickers in my ear from the Splinter beside me.</p><p> </p><p>“Splinters two through five, this is Varma on Splinter One,” He calls, “Let me know when you’re ready.”</p><p> </p><p>He sounds gleeful. He’s evidently over the moon to be in charge. Varma’s a happy guy at the best of times, but today he sounds ecstatic.</p><p> </p><p>I hear a few murmurs from the other Splinter pilots in response. They all state that they’re making their final checks and I curse quietly under my breath.</p><p> </p><p>That means they’ll be ready to go any second, whereas I’m just getting started. They’ve obviously had more time to prepare than I have, they didn't have to deal with an annoying girl and her annoying creature in the bellows of the ship.</p><p> </p><p>And they don't have to depend on that annoying girl and her annoying creature for a place on this ship, or even a place as a living, breathing human. I sighed to myself. It was all so simple before she came aboard the <em>Minnow</em>. Before <em>Cas</em> came aboard the <em>Minnow</em>. </p><p> </p><p>Cas.</p><p> </p><p>I hadn’t thought about her since I shut the door to the trainer deck right in her face. I let my mind wander to what she’ll be like when I go retrieve her from the depths of the ship when this is all over. It won't be a nice experience, trapped down there while a fight takes place around her, the noises will be horrendous, and she'll have no idea what's going on, unless she sticks her head outside and risk getting shot by a stray bullet, but she would never be so stupid. </p><p> </p><p>She’ll probably be pissed later. I don’t blame her. I would be too if I was in her position.</p><p> </p><p>At least she'll be safe. </p><p> </p><p>I want to scream at this situation Captain has put me in, but I shake that thought from my head, I need to concentrate on what I’m doing.</p><p> </p><p>I rush to make my checks in the cockpit as I hear the other three Splinters give confirmation to Varma. I note that we’re not using our full arsenal of six Splinters, obviously Boss thinks only five will be needed to bring our target down.</p><p> </p><p>I hear their voices announcing who’s present and ready to go – Tabs, Kirk and Marla. I smile at the recognition that forms in my brain as they call out their names. No one unusual in the Splinter line-up today, I’ve fought beside all three of them at least once, and that means I know their quirks and the way they like to move, attack and go about taking out an enemy.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a reassuring thought as I run through the start-up checklist in my head - engine, weapons, pilot. </p><p> </p><p>A flick of a switch and my Sprinter rumbles to life. I watch carefully as all the lights appear on the dashboard. Everything is at it should be – no warning lights appear, no unusual noises sound, and the fuel tank is full. I keep the brakes on as I press down on the accelerator pedal until I hear a comforting sound growl back at me.</p><p> </p><p>Engine check, ready. Weapons next.</p><p> </p><p>A glance to my right confirms there’s a rocket launcher accompanying me, and a press of a button lights up the dashboard to show me I am armed with exactly six missiles.</p><p> </p><p>Engine and weapons checked and ready, now to make sure the pilot is ready.</p><p> </p><p>I double check my helmet strap, then my seatbelt, and finally my comms by pressing the ear pierce firmly into position.</p><p> </p><p>I nod to myself in confirmation that I’m all set and ready to go, and then announce that fact to Varma, “Swift on Splinter Two, ready to roll.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s a beat before Varma’s voice crackles in my ear to confirm our readiness to the Captain, “Varma in command on Splinter One,” He says, “All Splinters are set and ready for the go call.”</p><p> </p><p>I sigh, I can still hear the infuriating grin behind his voice and I don't doubt that if I glanced right at him in his Splinter it would be shining bright.  </p><p> </p><p>The all-call crackles to life, “Splinters away on my mark.” I hold my breath as we await the moment we will be released into the water. “Three. Two. One.”</p><p> </p><p>The creak of the pneumatics announces our detachment from the <em>Minnow</em> and we drop through the air and crash into the sea with a splash. </p><p> </p><p>I watch the <em>Minnow</em> continue ahead of us, enjoying how my Splinter bobs in time with the waves the ship leaves in its wake.</p><p> </p><p>I sigh with satisfaction. It’s been too long since I was at the wheel of one of these and it feels nice to be back. And it’s reassuring to be in control of something for once. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind but being in control of the Splinter makes me feel back in control of things.  </p><p> </p><p>The sound of Varma barking orders distracts me from my thoughts, and I focus my concentration on what Varma tells us to do the moment we get the order from the<em> Minnow</em> to pounce.</p><p> </p><p>I keep my foot hovered over the accelerator as I listen to Varma’s instructions.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tabs and Kirk, keep to your side of the <em>Minnow. </em>Swift, stick with me on this side. In a sec we'll accelerate in front of it and act like a herd of dogs pulling a sled as we approach our target,” Varma orders, his voice annoyingly sounding like a true leader. “Marla, arch back behind the<em> Minnow</em>, keep a wide and long course, wait back, I need you free and ready to respond to any surprises they might throw at us.”</p><p> </p><p>We don’t need to confirm that we heard him, but I hear at least one, ‘Yes, boss!’ in my ear.</p><p> </p><p>Varma talks again, this time directing his words to the <em>Minnow</em>, “Splinters ready for your green light, Captain.”</p><p> </p><p>The reply is immediate, “Splinters away.”</p><p> </p><p>I don’t wait for the all-call to finish before obeying the order.</p><p> </p><p>I press down on the accelerator pedal, lurching the Splinter forward. It cuts a quick line across the sea, quickly speeding back towards the <em>Minnow</em> and then steaming ahead of it as it bounces smoothly across the waves.</p><p> </p><p>Our Splinters will be the first thing our target sees, little white dots on the horizon that move in a flash, and they will have around a second to respond before the great beast that is the <em>Minnow</em> comes into view. And I don’t think they will be able to respond appropriately, judging by the armada of weaponry we have at the ready.</p><p> </p><p>I grit my teeth as I continue to push my foot gently on the accelerator, building up speed. I smile when I reach full throttle and glance over at Varma and his Splinter. He’s smiling too – no surprises there – and I turn to look back ahead just us our target ship comes into view on the horizon.</p><p> </p><p>My smile turns into a grin as I watch it get closer.</p><p> </p><p>I may have only been a part of the Minnow’s crew for five short years, but this truly feels like my calling. It feels like I was born to do this.</p><p> </p><p>And I love it. I love being a pirate.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! </p><p>I really liked this part of the book because it changes the dynamic between Cas and Swift - at this point, they are growing more friendly by the minute and then when Swift suddenly locks Cas in the trainer deck, we're cruelly reminded that Swift is still a pirate. I wanted to write this purely to explore things from Swift's perspective and defend her actions a little bit, so I hope you enjoyed it! </p><p>I have vague plans for a second chapter, covering the moment Cas confronts Swift at the celebration party after the battle, so let me know if you would like to see it :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The battle was hard fought and won victoriously and I take a large sip of beer as I think about the wildly successful afternoon we just had.</p><p> </p><p>I have to give to her, Captain’s not stupid when she put Varma in charge of the Splinters today. Under his expert command, we used the Splinters to attack the bucket’s engines and slowed it down enough for the <em>Minnow</em> to catch up. Our enemy didn't hesitate with firing back, but between the five swift-like Splinters darting through in the waves and the<em> Minnow</em> rapidly approaching, you could tell the ship’s cannons didn’t know where to aim. </p><p> </p><p>They took a few clean shots at the <em>Minnow</em>, causing some sustained damage to the port side, just below the main deck, but we fired back immediately and it quickly became clear that their cannons were no match for Phobos and Diemos. I am slightly jealous of whoever was manning the cannons today but luckily, being in the Splinter provided me with plenty of other opportunities to aim and fire with shots of my own.</p><p> </p><p>In the end, they were outpowered relatively quickly, and we were treated to a glorious sunset just as the battle was won. The Splinters were reigned back in shortly afterwards, just as we began the real fun and boarded the bucket to steal its riches. </p><p> </p><p>Never one to miss a party, Santa Elena was the one to lead the assault and probably slaughtered more people than anyone else. And then, when we’d finished stripping the bucket of any valuables, Boss  had been the one to had been the one to set it alight and watch it burn before retreating back on to the safety of the <em>Minnow</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Now, after our work is done, we’re not holding back on the celebrations. The spoils from the raid are the best we’ve had for months, and Santa Elena is enjoying our efforts as much as the next person. It’s nice to see Boss a little unhinged, it relaxes me knowing there’s still something human left in her, and a few moments ago, she looked just like any other member of the crew as she downed three bottles of cider in quick succession with a huge grin plastered on her face.</p><p> </p><p>Shortly afterwards, she disappeared out the room with another cider in hand, off to enjoy the celebrations from the safety of the bridge where she can easily respond to any threats. Boss will be in high spirits, but there’ll be a few people on the bridge tasked with staying sober while the rest of us party. That’s hard to imagine when it feels like every pirate on this ship is all crammed into the mess room right now drinking the night away.</p><p> </p><p>Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Varma standing in front of a bunch of people waxing lyrical about something or another. He’s probably talking about how good he was leading the Splinters today. I’m not one to usually give compliments, but what he’s saying probably isn’t all bullshit.</p><p> </p><p>Varma’s right in the throng of things, and while I could probably also seek out compliments about my performance today if I wanted to, I don’t. I’m far happier with taking it all in from a bench in the corner with Code on my left. I’m right where I want to be. I have a stringlet attached at the crook of my left elbow and I’m on my third beer of the evening, with many more unopened bottles on the table in front of us, ready for a long night of partying ahead.</p><p> </p><p>My evening is only made better by the fact there’s a pretty girl on my lap. A few minutes ago, we were making out like the teenagers we are, but right now, she sits contently as I happily play with her long brown hair that falls beautifully past her shoulders, almost reaching her waist. It was in a braid for the battle until a few minutes ago, but during our make out session, I untangled it, and currently sit twirling the long strands around my fingertips.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Swift, your wife’s here.” Code says, his words sounding quiet over the noise of the party. I turn my attention away from the girl’s hair to stare in the direction Code is looking in. “And she don’t look too pleased.”</p><p> </p><p>I’m still processing his words when I spot her. Cas. Dripping wet and heading straight towards me.</p><p> </p><p>My face falls.</p><p> </p><p>Shit.</p><p> </p><p>She’s scowling like mad and her fists are clenched at her sides.</p><p> </p><p>Shit.</p><p> </p><p>The girl is still on my lap and my arm rapidly falls from around her waist. But before I can think about standing up to confront Cas, she's already standing right in front of us.</p><p> </p><p>“How the hell’d you get here?” I ask accusingly.</p><p> </p><p>Cas wasn’t supposed to be here. I had locked her on the trainer deck with Bao before the battle had even begun, intent on releasing her later when we had finished celebrating the successful raid. Her appearance right now was the last thing I needed or wanted right now, and even more annoyingly, it caught me completely off guard.</p><p> </p><p>“Took the long way ‘round.” Cas explains, her voice fuming.</p><p> </p><p>With that, the girl on my lap gets up and saunters into the crowd, slipping between bodies until she’s out of sight. I sigh in frustration and then wipe down my thighs with my hands. </p><p> </p><p>I look Cas up and down as I mull over her words. She obviously means she took a trip into the ocean to then climb up the side of the ship to get here. That would explain why she’s soaking wet. I lean back in my seat and try not to sigh again at the fact Cas is here right now.</p><p> </p><p>Cas's arrival is irritating, to say the least. She wasn’t a problem I thought I’d have to deal with until later. I thought I had locked her away for safekeeping where nothing could have hurt her. In a few hours, I was going to go unlock the door and deal with her anger then, but with her unannounced arrival, I have to deal with her right here, right now, in front of nearly the entire crew.</p><p> </p><p>Worst of all, my neck is on the line if Cas does anything she isn’t supposed to do. If she even puts a toe out of line, I get the blame. In other words, if she fucks up, I fuck up, so her misdemeanours certainly aren’t helpful.</p><p> </p><p>But perhaps more importantly, if I don’t keep an eye on her, who knows what might happen to her on this ship. There are plenty of people around who would literally kill to stab me in the back including the other trainees. Cas could have been seriously hurt or killed if someone knew she was wandering the gangways of the ship on her own without me there to protect her.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re lucky.” I say, my words slurring as I speak. “You could have been killed coming up here.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas’s features shift and for a moment, I wonder if she’s about to punch me. I would be powerless to stop it.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, it feels like there’s no one else in the room but me and her.</p><p> </p><p>“You want to talk lucky?” She shouts back at me, her voice seething with anger. “Your worthless ass is lucky that I had got the damn beast on this ship before it took off, that I had the sense to take care of the thing that both our lives depend on after you <em>locked me on the trainer deck</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>She’s not wrong. Everything she says is true. I’m tied to her just as much as she’s tied to me, and we’re both tied to Bao. If something happens to that beast, we’re both done for. But I’m not willing to give up a fight that easily.</p><p> </p><p>I snap out of my trance and let the noise of the party rush back over me like wave.</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t hear you.” I mouth back, pointing to my ear in emphasis, even though I can hear her perfectly well. “Too loud.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas only gets more frustrated and I smirk as she grits her teeth and leans in close, propping one foot up on the bench to support herself as she spits her next words into my ear.</p><p> </p><p>“You almost got us both killed.” She yells loudly, making sure there’s now no doubt I can hear exactly what she’s saying. “If you had just <em>listened </em>to me instead of rushing off at Santa Elena’s whistle, we could have kept Bao in the water, and you’d have still taken the ship.”</p><p> </p><p>She leans back as I consider what she said.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a part of me that wants to admit that she’s right, and some of what she’s saying <em>is</em> right. Her arguments do make sense. Perhaps I endangered Bao. Perhaps I didn’t have to lock her on the trainer deck. Perhaps I should have listened to her. Perhaps I almost got us both killed.</p><p> </p><p>I immediately want to spit out a response to Cas’s words, but I stop myself. The important thing is that my actions didn’t get us both killed. No matter how much she wants to shout at me, we’re both still here, alive and kicking, and so, I presume, is the beast. I did my job as I should have done, and I was sure of that, even if my actions did make me feel a little guilty.</p><p> </p><p>I bite my lip and my jaw tenses as I think about an answer.</p><p> </p><p>The Captain assigned Cas as my charge, I have to look after her, keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid. And earlier, when the all-call announced an imminent battle, I did what was the best option, I locked Cas away so she would be safe and of no bother. That meant I was free to answer to the Captain’s call. And my priority as a trainee is obeying the Captain, and when Santa Elena calls, I am trained to come running. That’s my job. Above anything else, the Captain is my priority, not Cas, and I need to make that clear to the girl in front of me.</p><p> </p><p>I meet Cas’s gaze and argue my case.</p><p> </p><p>“When an all-call goes out that we’re about to hit a bucket, I’m at the Captain’s side no matter what. If I’m not there for her, I’m as good as dead anyway. It’s your job to save my skin when the beast is concerned.” I look her up and down again and note how she’s still soaking wet. “Also, you’re dripping on me.” I add, providing a grimace for good effect.</p><p> </p><p>I watch Cas closely as she pushes away from the bench and then catches Code’s eye.</p><p> </p><p>He chuckles at our altercation and there’s a part of me that wants to wipe the smile off his face.</p><p> </p><p>“C’mon, have a stringlet or something.” He says to Cas, taking another swig of his bottle. “You need to relax girl.”</p><p> </p><p>“No thanks, my life’s a living hell already.” Cas responds sharply, and I’m surprised at the venom in her words. She promptly turns back to me. “Swift, I’m sleeping belowdecks tonight. Bao needs to be observed after today’s ordeal. No need to come and get me.”</p><p> </p><p>I shrug and look away, eyes searching the crowd, looking for the girl who was on my lap.</p><p> </p><p>“Was probably going to need the room to myself tonight anyway.” I say quietly.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t let myself watch Cas’s face to see her reaction. I keep my gaze firmly on the crowd of people, hoping it looks like I’m still thinking about somebody else rather than the girl right in front of me.</p><p> </p><p>Cas doesn’t stay standing there for too long. After a beat, she turns on her heels and walks away. Now that her back is turned, I let myself watch her go. She’s on her way out when she quickly stops to notice the table of food and drink to her left.</p><p> </p><p>The spoils from the battle are there for the taking, and I watch as Cas helps herself to a tray and picks at them eagerly. I can’t help it, but my heart twinges a little when I realise there isn’t much of it left.</p><p> </p><p>Us pirates flung ourselves at the food as soon as we could, you can’t blame us, there was lots of it, and we were hungry after the fight. I ate enough to feel a little bit sick before starting on the alcohol, and there’s lots of that too.</p><p> </p><p>My original plan was to gather up a plate of the best foods and maybe a beer or two and take it down to Cas when I unlocked the door to the trainer deck in a few hours’ time, but now I realise that my plan would have failed. It would have been a peace offering, a way to say sorry for locking her away earlier, a hope that if I had brought her food and drink, she would have been inclined to at least forgive me a little bit for my earlier actions. However, judging by how much is left right now, there wouldn’t have been much left for me to take to her and it would have looked like a pathetic way to apologise. I’m almost glad she’s here now and taking the best of what’s left for herself.</p><p> </p><p>I consider whether she would have even accepted the food from me in the first place. I’m technically her enemy. Would she have accepted food from her enemy?</p><p> </p><p>But sometimes, in fleeting moments, when we’re alone in my bunk or down on the trainer deck together, it doesn’t feel like we’re enemies. It feels like we’re on the same side of the war, fighting the same enemy, though who that enemy is, I don’t know.</p><p> </p><p>I scratch my head in thought. I struggle to know what Cas thinks about the whole situation. I’ve questioned her morals before, but she’s never been one to bite back too easily and I sometimes wonder if she doesn’t reply because she has also come to the realisation that we aren’t that different. It’s hard to peel back the surface and see the real Cas, but I want to, I really want to. I want to know how she feels about all this, how she feels about me, how she feels about being stuck on this ship, how she feels about the pirate life. But she’s got this way of shutting out my questions and my digs, no matter how much I try to question or offend everything she’s learnt from being a shoregirl.</p><p> </p><p>I watch attentively as Cas helps herself to the spoils. Talking about morals, I thought she would have turned her nose up at the food that came from a ship we raided, drowned and then set on fire. But maybe there are no morals at play here, maybe I’m overthinking it, maybe she’s helping herself simply because her hunger got the better of her.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever the answer is, I’m pleased to see her fill up her tray with food. Cas kept herself and the beast alive during the raid, which meant she kept me alive, so if anything, the stupid shoregirl deserves a slice of the celebration cake, literally and figuratively.</p><p> </p><p>For just a moment, that thought sits happily in my brain as I watch her leave the room.</p><p> </p><p>Like an idiot, I had forgotten to hide my stupid smile and so of course Code notices it. As soon as Cas is out of sight, he taps me on the shoulder and chuckles lightly when I turn to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>He looks back at me expectantly, like he wants me to explain exactly why I’m smiling. I wipe the grin from my face and stay silent, struggling to think of a response to his smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Cat got your tongue?” He asks after a few beats have passed. “Or should I say, Cas got your tongue?”</p><p> </p><p>I look at him in disgust but don’t voice my disapproval.  </p><p> </p><p>The smug look on Code’s face doesn’t disappear as he takes a swig of his beer.</p><p> </p><p>“You know it’s interesting,” He says, inching a little closer, keeping his voice low. “I’ve never known Swift Kent to have a crush.”</p><p> </p><p>I raise my fist at that.</p><p> </p><p>Code freezes in place but soon smiles when he realises I would never actually have the guts to punch him. Not in this context anyway, not right now, when we’re both merry from stringlets and have both consumed a few too many beers.</p><p> </p><p>And a fight between the Captain’s trainees when we’re meant to be celebrating would get us in big trouble and I don’t want that. Not to mention the hordes of pirates in the mess who would witness our argument and swiftly figure out that I had started the fight because Code had teased me about a girl.</p><p> </p><p>I might be brave, but I ain’t stupid.</p><p> </p><p>Code’s smile turns into a grin as I lower my fist. Taking another sip of his drink, he wriggles his eyebrows at me, like he’s expecting more, like he expects me to admit all my feelings right there and then.</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head at him, “You are ridiculous.”</p><p> </p><p>“So are you.” He counters with an annoying nod.</p><p> </p><p>I lightly punch him in the shoulder before leaning back in my seat.</p><p> </p><p>“Wanna talk about it?” He asks sincerely.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope.” I answer, immediately shaking my head.</p><p> </p><p>Talking about my feelings is definitely not something Swift Kent does, and Code should know that. But I can’t help feeling a little reassured that there’s someone there willing to talk about it if I wanted to, which I don’t.</p><p> </p><p>At times, I forget we’re meant to be competitors. We’re vying for the same title, both aiming for the top job. Me, him and the other trainees only want one thing, and that is to be in charge of this ship one day. I can’t let that slip from my mind, and yet, right here, right now, I’m not Code’s competitor. We’re just friends.</p><p> </p><p>We came on to this ship on the same day, him in chains, me signing up as a volunteer, and that bond stayed with us to this day. We’ve had to simultaneously work our way up the pirate food chain to be where we are now, but we’ve stayed friends throughout the five years we’ve known each other.</p><p> </p><p>I always wanted a sibling, one that was close in age to me instead of tiny and annoying, like my younger sisters were. I grew out of that dream shortly after I joined this ship when I realised that even if they had provided me with some companionship, they would have just been another person in my family to be abandoned by their mother and another hungry mouth to feed with the few supplies we had. Put simply, they wouldn’t have been worth the effort.</p><p> </p><p>But Code has become the closest thing to a brother I’ll probably ever have. Out of all the other trainees, he’s the one who knows the most about my life back home and I get along with him the best. Varma is way too enthusiastic about everything, Lemon only speaks when it’s absolutely vital and Chuck is too much of a princess for my liking, but Code, Code gets me. We share the same attitude and have the same type of humour. He’s easy to talk to but also knows to stay quiet when he needs to. If I can call my direct competitor a best friend, then that’s what Code is.</p><p> </p><p>“Well anyway...” Code speaks again, and I roll my eyes before he’s even said what he’s going to say. Maybe I take it back about how he knows when to shut up. “It’s nice to see you like this... it’s different.” Code looks at me seriously before continuing, “You seem happier when she’s around.”</p><p> </p><p>I don’t want him to say any more, this time I will punch him if he says another word, and that’s a promise. Luckily for his sake, he keeps his mouth shut. He hands me another bottle of beer, taps it with his own and mouths a cheers before taking a large sip.</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head at his antics but can’t help as a small grin escapes onto my face as I quickly gulp down nearly a third of the bottle in one breath.</p><p> </p><p>But I grimace as I set the bottle back down, and it’s not because of the alcohol. I may be happier when she’s around, but how long is that set to last? Cas being on the <em>Minnow</em> is a temporary arrangement. She’s our prisoner and she’s only here to do a job. Providing she does that job well and we’re both still alive at the end of this mess, when Bao is all trained up, she’ll leave. Captain will her prisoner free and she’ll go back to doing whatever normal SRCese shoregirls do.</p><p> </p><p>I let my eyes wander back to the thronging crowd as I start to wonder where that girl from earlier has got to. The crowd has thinned, there are now more people standing and sitting around the edges of the room than dancing in the middle of it, and some people look considerably drunker than they did earlier in the evening.</p><p> </p><p>I smile when I notice Varma and Chuck laughing and pulling Lemon towards them. It seems Lemon is being hoisted in as a referee for a game of drunk snap. I consider going over to join my fellow trainees, playing a few drinking games with them could be what I need right now to take my mind off of Cas.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, I’m distracted by a flash of brown hair to my right. My mood brightens for just a second when I think it’s the girl from earlier, then I frown when she turns around as she dances and she’s not who I think she is. Her hair is much too short, cut off just below the shoulders, whereas the girl from earlier had long flowing hair that I was twirling around with my fingers while she was in my lap.</p><p> </p><p>Taking another sip of beer, I half consider going up to this other girl. I have definitely met her before, and I vaguely recognise her as being quite good friends with Varma. But it’s evidently not to be, this new girl turns around and starts making out someone else. Frustrated at my plan to flirt being ruined, I rapidly finish off yet another bottle.</p><p> </p><p>I can feel Code watching me and without saying a word, he plucks another bottle of beer from the table in front of us, opens the cap with a clink, and graciously hands it to me.</p><p> </p><p>I nod a thanks as I take a sip. This is my third bottle in a matter of minutes, maybe my sixth of the evening, and I’m beginning to hate the taste, so I frown as I turn my attention back to the crowded room.</p><p> </p><p>“You want me to go find that girl from earlier?” Code asks quietly, reading my mind. “Take your mind off things?”</p><p> </p><p>I shrug in response as he opens a new bottle for himself and then leans back.</p><p> </p><p>I mull over his offer, appreciating the fact that he’s suggesting he could go find her. While I’m sure it’s a partly a subtle dig at how disastrous I can be with picking up girls, he’s also being friendly.</p><p> </p><p>I was having a good time with the girl earlier, before Cas showed up. I could be interested in taking her back to my cabin for a few more conversations and some other things too. The girl from earlier, I mean, not Cas. Definitely not Cas.</p><p> </p><p>And then I realise something – I don’t even know her name. The girl was on my lap practically all evening and I never learnt her name.</p><p> </p><p>I turn back to Code and I’m about to ask that question, but I stop myself. I realise I’m not even in the mood for her anymore. I’m not in the mood for anyone. Cas’s unexpected arrival put me on the lurch and has changed my mood completely, and so have Code’s comments. It’s not that he said anything untrue, it’s just that he wouldn’t shut up about her, which is why I now can’t stop thinking about her.</p><p> </p><p>Stupid shoregirl takes up a lot of my thoughts recently. It doesn’t help that I have to see her and talk to her up close and personal, when we’re forced to spend a lot of time together in close quarters, literally.</p><p> </p><p>Not anymore though, she made it very clear that my actions tonight have got me in her bad books. She won’t be sleeping in my bunk for the foreseeable future, and while she said that was because she needed to keep an eye on Bao, I reckon it’s more to do with the fact that she hates my guts. If I’m being honest, I can’t blame her.</p><p> </p><p>I take another sip of my beer.</p><p> </p><p>I wonder if Cas found a suitable place to eat her meal. More importantly, I hope she’s found somewhere safe. I doubt she would head to my bunk, so then where did she go? Back to the trainer deck? She wouldn’t be able to get there without taking another trip into the ocean seeing as I haven’t unlocked the door for her yet.</p><p> </p><p>I haven’t unlocked the door for her yet. That thought bounces around my brain.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to bed.” I announce, suddenly putting down my beer.</p><p> </p><p>“Just like that?” Code sputters.</p><p> </p><p>“Yup.” I nod back seriously.</p><p> </p><p>“I can go find that girl from earlier?” Code asks again as he reaches out his arm, almost stopping me from leaving. He’s clearly hesitant to let me go that easily.</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head in response.</p><p> </p><p>Code sets down his beer too and looks at me in annoyance. The look on his face tells me he’s not too happy about the fact that his drinking buddy is retiring early. Usually we’re some of the last people to go to bed, and then the last to wake.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m tired.” I say as I shrug casually.</p><p> </p><p>It’s true, I am tired, but I don’t bother Code with the details of exactly why I’m leaving and where I’ll head before retiring to my bunk.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Code replies, throwing up his hands in defeat. “But Swift?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Code points to my arm. I follow his gaze to the crook of my elbow, where I see there’s a stringlet still attached to flesh. It obviously dried up ages ago, but I hadn’t noticed it was still there. My mind had been too distracted by something else.</p><p> </p><p>I try not to grimace at the pain as I rip it from my skin.</p><p> </p><p>“What would you do without me, eh?!” Code laughs into his beer as I throw the now empty stringlet on the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.” I groan back, rolling my eyes at him for what feels like the hundredth time that evening.</p><p> </p><p>I now finally make my exit, picking up an unopened beer from the table before I leave. I quickly head towards the hatch, not wanting to let anyone see that Swift Kent is leaving the party early.</p><p> </p><p>“Night Swift!” Code calls after me.</p><p> </p><p>That makes any attempts at a subtle getaway impossible, but I wave back at Code as I leave the mess hall, realising people are too entertained by alcohol and stringlets to notice my departure.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Many thanks to the one person who commented and the one person who left kudos, this next chapter is for you! </p><p>I'm still writing a third and final chapter, so let me know if you want to see that? </p><p>Thanks for reading! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This final chapter took me way longer to write than I had first anticipated, but I hope it was worth the wait!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I’m much less drunk than I expected to be.</p><p> </p><p>That thought hits me as I start walking down the port gangway. Even with the extra beers I consumed after she was gone, the confrontation with Cas has sobered me up.</p><p> </p><p>I’m not drunk enough to need to hold onto the handrails, but I clutch them anyway as I move more slowly than normal as I make my way through the ship. The beer I’m grasping in my right hand is another attempt at a disguise. I want to at least look a little bit drunk in case I run into anyone who might ask questions about where I’m going. Why I’m not still partying with the others.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not that I’m not <em>supposed</em> to be here, but no one would <em>expect</em> me to be in this part of the ship right now. I assume the party will continue through the small hours, and the Captain’s trainees usually don’t miss a party.</p><p> </p><p>As I make my way below decks, I quickly realise I don’t need to be quite so cautious. The only people around are too busy making out with each other to notice a lone Swift wandering the gangways where she shouldn’t be.</p><p> </p><p>And that’s a good thing, I don’t want to be spotted. I don’t want anyone to notice how I’m heading down to the trainer deck right now. Cas mentioned she wanted to be with Bao tonight, but the trainer deck door will still be locked as I left it, and I’m the only one with a key who will have realised Cas needs it unlocked again for her to carry out her duties.</p><p> </p><p>At least, that’s what I tell myself.</p><p> </p><p>I’m lying, of course.</p><p> </p><p>If what Code was saying earlier is anything to go by, my crush on Cas is written in red flashing red letters on my forehead. I’m not just doing this because I’m a good pirate who needs to ensure her charge can go about her duties, those where the orders from Boss.</p><p> </p><p>I’m doing this because I care about Cas.</p><p> </p><p>My head suddenly feels a lot heavier than it did a minute ago. The loss of concentration causes me to miss the last rung of the ladder and I stumble until my feet reach a hard surface.</p><p> </p><p>I almost retch when I steady myself at the bottom. Before I know it, I’m gripping the handrail like my life depends on it as I struggle to hold on to rational thoughts. My head is swimming and my knees feel weak, almost like I’m seasick. But the <em>Minnow</em> isn’t moving, and I was born on the Flotilla, for god’s sake, I’ve never experienced seasickness in my life.</p><p> </p><p>I slump to the ground, feeling utterly defeated. I feel dead and alive all at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>It’s like my head feels heavy and my heart feels full.</p><p> </p><p>I stop myself before I go any further. I’ve never felt this pathetic before.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I am still a little bit drunk.” I say out loud, not caring who hears. “Too much alcohol for Swift Kent tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s another lie, my symptoms are nothing to do with being drunk.</p><p> </p><p>They’re to do with another sensation, one four-letter word I can’t even bring myself to say out loud.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t think about it. I don’t want to think about it.</p><p> </p><p>I bite down the bile, wipe my mouth with my sleeve and continue on. And after scrambling down another ladder and rounding one more corner, I'm stood facing the hatch to the trainer deck.</p><p> </p><p>Cas isn’t here.</p><p> </p><p>I glance right down the gangway. Down here in the bowels of the <em>Minnow</em>, there are shadowy corners all around, places where it’s dark enough to easily hide from someone who wasn’t looking for you. But I’m looking for her, and there’s no sign of her slim figure waiting off to the side, about to pounce at me again like she did in the mess hall.</p><p> </p><p>Cas knows better than to be here. She’s too smart to be hiding here, somewhere so open and exposed. Somewhere there’s a chance she would be spotted by a passer-by.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, I suspect she’ll have found somewhere tucked away. If you know where to look, there are plenty of alcoves and storage areas all over the <em>Minnow</em>. Places that would be suitable for stowing yourself away to eat the spoils from a bucket your captors raided and burned. She’s been on this ship for long enough to have found her favoured spot, she’ll have made one of those hiding places hers.</p><p> </p><p>From her attitude towards me earlier, I can guarantee she won’t be hunkered down in my bunk, especially not after I told her I was planning to take a girl home tonight. What Cas doesn’t know is that her appearance earlier has meant I’d now rather murder someone than sleep with someone tonight.</p><p> </p><p>But wherever she is, she’s not here, and I hate the way my heart sinks at that realisation.</p><p> </p><p>It’s like my body is begging her to be here. And I start to feel sick again as I think about it, but I want her to be here. I want her to be sitting here on the floor, right outside the trainer deck, with her pile of spoils and looking thoroughly hacked off that I decided to show my face.</p><p> </p><p>I want to smirk and make a snarky comment as I unlock the door. Maybe about how this ‘hiding’ place of hers isn’t very hidden.</p><p> </p><p>And I want her to talk back. To fight me. To hit me with that fist of hers.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, there’s not a sound as a I take the key from around my neck and unlock the door to the trainer deck. When the hatch swings open, I step inside, just in case Cas has already come back the long way round.</p><p> </p><p>But my head swiftly clocks on to what my heart already knows – the trainer deck is empty.</p><p> </p><p>The only sound is the lull of the ocean’s waves as it laps against the <em>Minnow’s</em> side. The trainer deck doors are wide open, and I can sense that Bao is roaming about in the open sea. Close enough to return to his trainer in seconds if Cas were to call him, but far enough away to be enjoying some freedom after being locked inside earlier.</p><p> </p><p>Something hurts me in my chest when I think about that. I was the one who locked them both in there this afternoon. That was my fault.</p><p> </p><p>I shake away those thoughts as I push the door shut again. I wish there was a way I could communicate to Cas that I unlocked the door for her.</p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t supposed to happen in this way. I was supposed to unlock the door with her still inside and then I was supposed to weather whatever confrontation that came. She wasn’t supposed to burst into the celebrations unexpectedly and confront me in front of everyone.</p><p> </p><p>I glance at the bottle of unopened beer in my hand. Should I leave it here for Cas? A way to show I was here? A way to show her that despite what it looks like, I still care?</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head. It’s useless. Cas probably hates my guts, a bottle of beer won’t solve anything.</p><p> </p><p>I close the hatch behind me, but unlike earlier, I don’t lock it.</p><p> </p><p>I tuck the key on its string back behind my shirt and head towards my bunk, fully fed up with today’s events and how they turned out.</p><p> </p><p>We may have won a battle, but why does it feel like I lost one too?</p><p> </p><p>I realise need some air. I take a detour on the way to my cabin and head up on the top deck of the <em>Minnow</em>. Winding my way through the ship’s corridors, I notice it’s quieter than it was a few minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>When I climb through the hatch and arrive on at the ship’s top deck, I find out why. I’m not alone in wanting to enjoy this beautiful evening. I’ve emerged on to the deck right next to Phobos and Deimos, but there’s a sizeable throng of people congregating at the opposite end of the ship.</p><p> </p><p>The sounds of their party are louder than the sounds from the bucket we raided earlier. The ship is still burning, but the fire is nearly out already, leaving the messy, burning hull to start to slowly slip under the ocean’s waves.</p><p> </p><p>I imagine we’ll be on our way again soon. Boss will want us well away from here the moment daylight breaks, and she won’t want this party to get too rowdy or out of hand.</p><p> </p><p>As I approach my usual perch atop Phobos, I watch the group carefully. Luckily for them, no one looks like they’re about to do anything stupid that would catch the Captain’s attention. Scanning the faces, a few familiar faces crop up, but no one notices me watching them. They’re all too busy with their stringlets and their beer and their conversations. And each other, I realise, wincing as I watch two people start to soppily make out with each other. The disgusted groans from the crowd around them matching my own feelings towards their love.</p><p> </p><p>I’m definitely not in the mood for company tonight. Whether that’s to make out with someone or just hang out. It’s why I walked out on Code a minute ago and it’s why I won’t be joining their top deck party, no matter how fun it sounds.</p><p> </p><p>I turn back around. No one has noticed me. I’m invisible to the party and am left alone to be lost in my thoughts and steal a few moments of peace up here with no one bothering me.</p><p> </p><p>I climb up on top of Phobos, the metal of my favourite weaponry cold against my skin, the sensation familiar as I lie down and admire my favourite view.</p><p> </p><p>Although my mind hums with the thoughts of tomorrow’s activities, I try not to think about that. Instead, I gaze at the night sky.</p><p> </p><p>The beautiful day has given way to a beautiful evening, the scattered clouds that remain from sunset can’t conceal the bright stars and the galaxies, shining down on the earth, the <em>Minnow</em>, and me. The moonless sky only amplifies the effect.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at the stars makes me feel calm. I’m almost embarrassed myself to think that. No one knows that I do this regularly, sneak up to the ship’s top deck to watch the stars. There is someone I’d like to share this moment with, but right now, that person is probably scheming up the best ways to murder me in my sleep.</p><p> </p><p>I turn my attention back to the stars and start reciting the names of constellations. Mom taught me everything I know about the stars. Their names and their stories and the gods they are named after. But I can’t map the whole sky. She abandoned us before she finished teaching me about all of them so my knowledge is wildly incomplete.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, I feel like a star named after a god. Those gods always did have a complicated relationship with their parents. I feel like I can relate to that.</p><p> </p><p>I smile to myself as I start tracing the outlines of the constellations, reciting their names as I go.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Aries… Perseus… Cygnus… Pegasus… Andromeda…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can hear Cas’s voice in my ear – “Ooh Andromeda, big word for a Flotilla kid.”</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Cas is lying next to me. Turning to face her, I see she wears the same expression as she did a few weeks ago, when she had teased me for knowing the word ‘syllable’. When she had provoked me and I had pounced. When I had let us get too close.</p><p> </p><p>We shouldn’t have let the conversation turn so personal that day. I shouldn’t have let my feelings influence things. But I shouldn’t have assumed she was just like any other SRCese shoregirl.</p><p> </p><p>As I imagine her lying next to me now, I’m glad I let her get to me like she did that day. That encounter makes it far easier to imagine her face up close.</p><p> </p><p>I’d never studied her face before that day. She had slept alongside me in my bunk for weeks beforehand, so I was familiar with her body. The way she curled in on herself, the way she was small in the day but even smaller at night, the way she protected herself even during sleep, even though she must know I would never let anyone hurt her.</p><p> </p><p>But that day, as I had scolded her stupid shoregirl ways, I was able to memorise the features of her face. Her wide flushed cheeks. Her round ears that stick out. Her short messy black hair. Her <em>eyes</em>. </p><p> </p><p>Her face had given nothing away, but I saw the concern in her dark brown eyes that day. I had watched as they flickered from recognition to annoyance and then finally, to neutrality. They had settled back to that hard shell that seemed to defend Cas from revealing her true natures.</p><p> </p><p>I would kill to know more about the person behind those intriguing brown eyes. I would kill to have those brown eyes staring back at me right now.</p><p> </p><p>But they’re not. It’s just my imagination. Cas isn’t next to me.</p><p> </p><p>I’m alone, like always, in my favoured spot on top of Phobos.</p><p> </p><p>I clench my fists in frustration, and that’s when I remember I’m still clutching a bottle of beer in my right hand.</p><p> </p><p>I consider cracking open the bottle. I could drink to the stars right now, wish for better, but it’s no use. What good what that do?</p><p> </p><p>Instead, I jump down from my perch. I walk towards the ship’s railing and look out over the drowning bucket.</p><p> </p><p>Then, I chuck the bottle of beer out to sea, throwing so hard that a grunt falls out of my mouth with the effort. The bottle clinks against the remains of the still stinking bucket, and then splashes into the ocean and slips below the waves.</p><p> </p><p>And with that bottle goes all my dreams, and anger, and sadness, and anything else that will stop me from becoming a captain of a pirate ship one day.</p><p> </p><p>I hear a ‘hey’ and recognise their voice – but I don’t stick around to see whether they’re there to tell me off or because they know me. It isn’t before I’m back through the hatch and scrambling down a ladder before I realise it might have been the girl from earlier, the one on my lap all evening.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t care anymore, and that thought is shut out the moment I shut the door to my cabin behind me.</p><p> </p><p>Cas isn’t here either. My bunk is exactly how I left it this morning, messy, clothes thrown about the place, things all over the floor. No sign of the calming order that Cas seems to bring with her.</p><p> </p><p>There was a part of me holding on to that last glimmer of hope that she might be hiding in the cabin, but I was foolish to think she ever would be here, when she shouted in my face and said she would be sleeping on the trainer deck tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Cas hates me, hates what I stand for and hates what I’ve done, but god, if only she knew how much she should hate me. If only she knew what I’ve really done. I swear to god I hope she never finds out my role in Durga’s death.</p><p> </p><p>I jump up on my bed with a groan. I kick out the light and cover my head with my pillow, but that doesn’t stop my mind from filling with thoughts about Cas.</p><p> </p><p>I even feel the cold beside me where Cas usually lies. She wasn’t around a few weeks ago, I wasn’t even aware of her existence, and now I feel her even in her absence. Shoregirl sure is annoying as hell.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, I resign myself to the fact that sleep won’t come easily tonight. So, I tune into the gentle rocking of the boat, trying to ignore the sounds of the ruckus party above, and I imagine at home.</p><p> </p><p>I imagine I’m back at home, back on the flotilla.</p><p> </p><p>I’ve climbed up the long path that leads me home and I’ve entered the space clutching a large canvas bag containing my hard earned efforts. My dad greeted me with a large hug and had then promptly insisted I should go to sleep because it was late.</p><p> </p><p>I had protested, but he had argued he was still my father and could still tell me what to do. I had laughed at his words but then obeyed him like the good daughter I am. And so, I had happily climbed into one of the hammocks that hang down from the ceiling and had shut my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>And now, I go to sleep to the lull of Oma’s snoring next to me and the sounds of dad’s cooking below. He’s always cooking in my imagination, even if it’s time for us all to go to bed.</p><p> </p><p>I smile to myself. Sleep finds me easily when I think about home.</p><p> </p><p>The thoughts of stupid shoregirl and Santa Elena and the<em> Minnow</em> and my training and pirates and <em>Cas</em>… they no longer haunt me.</p><p> </p><p>Soon enough, I’m out like a light.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please leave kudos or a comment :)</p><p>Also let me know if you want me to write more Caswift in the future? I have a few ideas for other fics in my mind!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Find me on tumblr @eleventhousandfour<br/>Or on twitter @eleventhousands</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>